Check out The Birdie’s hodgepodge of Week Zero picks in Westmoreland County

By: The Birdie
Wednesday, August 24, 2022 | 6:26 PM

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The Birdie has been called a lot of things (never late for dinner), but when he heard a coach refer to him as a “hodgepodge of nothingness” at a recent media day, his ears perked up.

“You stole that from Dennis Eckersley! You’re caught, coach!” the Birdie told the culprit, thumbing his nose at him. “If you’re going to come at me, at least bring some original content. And never compare me to the Pittsburgh Pirates. At least I win in September and October.”

Pumped up to begin a new season, the Birdie has his cooler filled with bottles of water to take out Friday night. (A part-timer checks the ice chest to make sure it really is water in the bottles.)

“Gotta stay hydrated,” he said. “No cramps for this prognosticator.”

After hanging out with the goats at the Westmoreland Fair, the real G.O.A.T. can’t wait for Friday night.

The biggest adjustment early in the year, the Birdie said, will be getting to know the new-look classifications and new coaches around the county.

“Some are up, some are down. This guy went here, and that one went there,” he said, putting on his freshly ironed Kenny Pickett jersey and feathering back his hair. “I feel like I am playing Twister at one of my old frat parties. I will say this: I love the alignment. There are very few bad matchups. Some packed schedules. The WPIAL got it right.”

The Birdie has taken a liking to playing slot machines at the casino at Westmoreland Mall, but he would place his bets on some local teams before dropping another coin at the casino.

As for his biggest movers and shakers of 2022, the Birdie thinks Penn-Trafford will stay among the WPIAL elite. “That QB is bigger than my car,” he said. “The Warriors’ line takes up a row of parking spots.”

He also thinks Belle Vernon is a title contender, and Greensburg Salem will make some noise in 3A, while Greensburg Central Catholic will score “a boatload” of points. His sleeper: Latrobe, with Franklin Regional close behind.

Now for his take on Week Zero.

• Hempfield at Greensburg Salem: Expect a dandy at Offutt Field as crosstown rivals meet again. A slight edge goes to Hempfield’s line and running game. Hempfield, 20-16

• Burrell at Jeannette: Jeannette will unveil a potentially exotic offense, something Burrell has done in past years. But it will be the defense Jeannette will need to slow the Bucs’ ground game. Burrell, 22-14

• Latrobe at Derry: Change is in the air in Latrobe, and fans will get a look at the new-look Wildcats as they ground and pound their way past the Trojans. Latrobe, 28-7

• Greensburg C.C. at Mt. Pleasant: With numerous playmakers, GCC has potential to move the ball with big plays. But can the Centurions take down the blue-collar Vikings on the road? It’s a tough out. Greensburg CC, 28-21

• Springdale at Ligonier Valley: The offense will get going early, and the defense will show up late for Ligonier Valley. Ligonier Valley, 26-13

• Monessen at Washington: With speed and skill, both teams should move the football with big plays. One will make one more than the other. Washington, 18-16

• Penn-Trafford at Canon-McMillan: Size, depth and athleticism are brimming over again for the defending WPIAL and PIAA champion Warriors. Canon-McMillan won’t be able to stop it. Penn-Trafford, 35-7

• South Allegheny at Yough: South Allegheny has size and experience at the skill positions and it will make a difference against the Cougars. South Allegheny, 28-14

• Southmoreland at McGuffey: A down year has McGuffey fired up for rebound season, but the Highlanders will have to earn a victory against the Scotties. McGuffey, 28-14

• Upper St. Clair at Norwin: Upper St. Clair plays fast and can score faster. The Panthers will catch the Knights off guard early and stay ahead. Upper St. Clair, 23-13