The Birdie learns an important football lesson, picks A-K Valley playoff games

By: The Birdie
Wednesday, November 10, 2021 | 4:37 PM

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Last week: 4-3 (57.1%)

Overall: 82-30 (73.2%)

If there are three things The Birdie loves more than anything on earth, it’s football, french fries and tortured analogies.

So as The Birdie pulled out of the McDonald’s drive thru at lunchtime one day this week, he carefully lifted a glorious box of fries out of the brown paper bag. They shone like whatever was in the briefcase in “Pulp Fiction.”

Just then, Mrs. Birdie, as birds are known to do, snagged the tallest, most glorious fry out of the box with her beak and wolfed it down.

The Birdie frowned. He’s not a big fan of sharing.

“Mrs. Birdie, you ruined my lunch,” he squawked.

But as The Birdie got down to the business of actually eating his lunch, dipping each fry deep into that little plastic tub of ranch, the smile quickly returned to his face.

And just then he had a moment of clarity.

“If you take out one fry, even if it’s the most prominent fry, your lunch can still be delicious,” he said.

The Fox Chapel football team already knows this, of course.

The Foxes lost top quarterback Collin Dietz to an injury in the season finale against Pine-Richland. Pundits, including this one, gave them little chance to beat a solid Upper St. Clair team in the first round of the WPIAL Class 5A playoffs Friday night.

So what did they do? They moved wide receiver Khi’lee Patterson under center, came out and secured a 13-10 victory.

With that, The Birdie realized that he, over lunch, had stumbled upon two truths that simply cannot be debated.

1. Football is the ultimate team game. 2. Ranch is way better than ketchup for dipping french fries.

And now, on to his picks for the second week of the WPIAL playoffs.

• Fox Chapel (5-6) at Penn-Trafford (8-2): This Class 5A field is wide open, so discount the Foxes at your own peril. And dig this: Penn-Trafford’s one 5A loss this season was to Peters Township. Upper St. Clair crushed Peters Township. Fox Chapel just beat Upper St. Clair. Those sorts of Algebra problems rarely do a good job predicting football games, but the point stands. Yeah, the Warriors are the favorite, but this is anyone’s ballgame. Penn-Trafford, 21-13

• Freeport (6-4) at Elizabeth Forward (8-2): The Yellowjackets are a great example of a team that has built and improved all year long. Their first-round win over Ambridge was thorough. Elizabeth Forward, though, might be a better example. After dropping back-to-back games to Ligonier Valley and West Mifflin early in the season, they’ve steamrolled their last seven opponents. Like, 308-35 steamrolled. Elizabeth Forward, 35-21

• Springdale (6-4) vs. Rochester (8-2): The Dynamos lived up to their billing as the No. 13 seed that no one wanted to face when they manhandled a solid West Greene team last week. Another upset is absolutely not out of the question, but Rochester’s defense is among Class A’s best. Rochester, 13-10

• Leechburg (9-2) vs. Cornell (8-2): The Blue Devils have written the season’s best story, snapping a long playoff drought, hosting a postseason game for the first time and, perhaps most importantly, winning that game. Now, how does this sound — “Leechburg football, WPIAL semifinalists?” Watching Blue Devils tacklers stand up California ballcarriers over and over again last Friday, it’s not hard to picture them doing it again this week. Leechburg, 20-14

Tags: Cornell, Elizabeth Forward, Fox Chapel, Freeport, Leechburg, Penn-Trafford, Rochester, Springdale